


Sarcasm Intensified

by Ironman_out_keele



Series: Darcy Lewis? Yes [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Assistant Darcy Lewis, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bruce and Tony are idiots, But he gets a booboo, Darcy Lewis is Tony Stark's Daughter, Darcy can speak Danish, Darcy doesn't give a shit, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, I Don't Even Know, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's son, Peter can speak polish, Protective Darcy, Sarcasm, and Darcy's twin, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 14:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5747530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironman_out_keele/pseuds/Ironman_out_keele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy goes to give the Scientists their drinks (Tea for Bruce, Coffee for Tony and soda for Peter) when she walks in on an argument between Tony and Bruce, which led to a hurt Peter, an angry Darcy and guilty Bruce and Tony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sarcasm Intensified

It was an average Tuesday, Tony blew up something, Peter webbed something and Bruce sighed a lot through the mess of it. So when Darcy walked into the lab to give the scientists their fluids, (Tea for Bruce, Coffee for Tony, Mountain Dew for Peter and lemonade for herself) she didn't expect Bruce and Tony yelling at each other with Peter in between them to stop them from hitting each other. This was idiotic of Peter because he was currently holding back Tony and Bruce with a hand on both of their chests, covered in soon-to-be bruises. 

"ALRIGHT!!! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?!" Darcy yelled after setting the tray of drinks down. Peter looked over at her with a pleading face, practically begging her to help him out here. The others didn't hear, so she opened a drawer and pulled out two air horns. Turning to the arguing group, she sighed and mouthed and apology to Peter before stalking to Tony and Bruce and putting an air horn near each ear before pressing the button on top of the can.

Both parties jumped and covered their ears, turning to Darcy with a scowl on their faces, Tony a bit red in the face and Bruce a bit green. Peter whimpered and rubbed his ears in pain. Sighing again, she dropped the horns and hugged Peter as both an apology and to comfort the kid with his sensitive ears.

"Alright, before I ask my question again, I want both of you to apologize to Petey-Pan over here for hitting him, yelling in his sensitive ears and making me use the air horn near his said ears. Then I want you, Tony, to sit in that chair in that corner and you Bruce, to sit in that chair in that corner. I want to hear nothing from you guys while I figure out what is going on. Not. A. Peep. As of right now, you're on a time-out." This got a squawk out of Tony, which led a glare from the angry assistant. "Capishe?" Darcy growled out glaring at the two scientists. They both nodded sheepishly (well as sheepishly as Tony can be) before doing as she said.

Peter got a heart felt apology and a hand on his shoulder from Bruce and a mumbled out apology and a hair-ruffle from Tony before both scientists went into their respected corner and sat down calmly. That is until Darcy walked over and took Tony's gadgets and gizmos, along with Bruce's pieces of paper and pens. Then they started to whine until smacked above the head and told "no" with a heated glare. Then they just sulked like children that they were.

"Okay, Petey-Pan, what happened in here? I haven't seen them fight this bad in years!" Darcy asked when she reached over to Peter, handing her brother a can of Mountain Dew.

"They got into an argument because Tony said that 'tea is just leaf water' and Bruce retaliated with 'yeah, well coffee is just bean water' and then they started arguing about things that happened in the past year? An-and then they looked like they were going to fight, so I stepped in between them, an-and then they tried to hit each other, but they hit me instead...I didn't like it, but I didn't know what to do un-until you came in, I got scared cuz I-I didn't know what to do and they wouldn't st-stop!" Peter spoke quietly, but you can tell he was freaking out when he rubbed his arms and his breathing was shaking dangerously.

When his parents died, he went to his aunt and uncle. A few months after he turned 5, they died so he went into foster care where he was abused daily in some houses, until it became up to the point where if someone he loved were arguing and ended up hitting himself or each other, he would start to go into a panic attack and cling to whoever happened to try to comfort him. It usually ended up being Darcy in the Tower, and on those days, it was rare, so she ended up freaking out in her mind before she clings to something to comfort Peter, as shown below.

 _"Shit!"_ Darcy thought as she scrambled to think of what to do to comfort her brother. Gently, she maneuvered the lanky brunet into her lap as she rubbed his back as he latched onto her shirt and held on tight. Remembering a song that her grandma sang to her, well... more like a song she sang as a child that her grandma taught her how to sing in Danish. Her mom and grandma used to sing it to her when it was time for bed.

"Du er min solstråle, min eneste solstråle, du gør mig lykkelig, når himlen er grå, du ved ikke, kære, hvor meget jeg elsker dig, tag ikke min solstråle væk. You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away." she sung under her breathe. After a few moments, he calmed down, but he continued to latch onto her shirt.

"You're okay min lille edderkop, right?" Darcy spoke, as she gently took Peter's face so that he can look at her face. When he nodded, she let go and wrapped her arms around him. Turning around, she saw a grief-stricken Bruce and a scared Tony. 

"Come here" she growled, pointing to the floor in front of her waiting for the scientist to stand  there. She hummed as she rubbed Peter's back after he flinched with her tone.

"'Tea is just leaf water', 'yeah well coffee is just bean water'." Both scientists flinched at that. "Wow, it's-it's like everything is made of things. That door is just metal rectangle, that desk is just wood with legs. This book is just ink paper. This lemonade is just lemon water. Wow, it's like you can combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation. Such a magical world we live in..." Both scientists grimaced and looked down at their feet.

"I can't believe you argued and tried to hit each other over that. Wow, that is the most stupidest shit I've ever heard! Okay, here is what's going to happen. Bruce and Tony, you're grounded- no, don't give me that look father" Tony's opened mouth snapped shut, along with Bruce's "you're grounded from the lab for a week. I'm going to make a list of chores you're going to do until the week is done. Until then, no electronics and science stuff for you" She pointed to Tony, "and no books and science stuff for you" she pointed at Bruce.

"And I want you to apologize to Peter properly when he is okay. No, you can't pay it off Stark. I am ashamed of you for acting like children. Go to your rooms, and don't think you can read or play with tech. I'll have JARVIS monitor you in the meantime." Both scientists nodded at their feet before turning around to go out of the lab.

"Thank you mały kotku," Peter whispered as he detangled from Darcy.

"It's okay min lille edderkop, want some hot chocolate?" Peter nodded and followed Darcy to the Kitchen.

-.-.-.-.-

After a day went by with Tony and Bruce cleaning the house and banished from the Lab, they decided to make a cake for Peter. The cake ended up lopsided and with a few eggshells in it, but the message still held.

A week later, the scientists were back in the labs after a resounding smack over the head and a lecture that could rival Cap's from Darcy, creating a new suit (Tony) tweaking his web-shooter (Peter) and testing web endurance for Peter (Bruce). It was a peaceful Tuesday when Darcy walked in with everyone's drinks. Darcy smirked at a chuckling Peter when she handed Tony a cup that said 'bean-water' and Bruce the other that said 'leaf-water'. Winking at Peter, she left the lab with a cackle that could rival a classical Disney enemy.

**Author's Note:**

> "Du er min solstråle, min eneste solstråle, du gør mig lykkelig, når himlen er grå, du ved ikke, kære, hvor meget jeg elsker dig, tag ikke min solstråle væk." is Danish for "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey, you never know dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away.  
> "min lille edderkop" means "my little spider"  
> "mały kotku" means "little kitten"  
> I am trusting google with this... so if I'm wrong, please correct me :)


End file.
